I spent two hours today reading fan-fiction. Two hours out of the 6 that I had between when I got home and when I’m going to bed. That’s one third of my life that just slipped by. I could have been reading the summer reading books I haven’t finished yet, working on blogging, getting exercise, preparing my house for the dog soon to inhabit it, doing homework ahead of time. Instead, I decided to spend that time reading poorly written fan fiction which holds no meaning to my life at all other than a filler for time I don’t know what to do with.

When I think about it like that I feel really crappy. There are so many other things I could have been doing, but I failed, I wasted two hours of my life. Time is precious to me and Its really important that I spend my life well.

So I guess I want to focus on using the time I have on the things that really matter to me. Like writing, reading, exercising, blogging, convincing my parents to get a dog, working. I think that’s my problem, why I always feel pressured for time. It’s because I’m not using my time well. I’m not saying “Hey, this is what I want to do and I’m going to do it” Instead I’m saying “Hey, I worked pretty hard, I deserve a break”. And sure, sometimes I do deserve a break, but my breaks need to be spent doing something I really love, not a useless activity like reading fan-fiction.

Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that fan-fiction is inherently bad or that the writers of it are. Personally I think that the writers great for going after what they want and practicing their writing and I really enjoy good fan-fiction. What I am condoning, is the practice of letting reading fan-fiction take over your life, which I feel like it has to mine.



Who do you want to be?


I came up with an idea the other day that each morning I would ask myself this simple question, “Who do I want to be?” and whatever my answer was I was going to try my hardest to be that person that day. I was going to try to be the person who I wanted to be every single day of my life.

Sure the answer to the question might change and adapt over time, but it is the action of trying to be your best that works.

Some days I want to be outgoing and social, other days I want to be creative and nerdy, but I’m still working towards the best me there is.

This morning I actually wrote “Who?” on my hand to remember throughout the day to focus on being the person that I want to be. So every time I look at my hand it reminds me to keep working towards my goals and ideal self.

Its really important to me to always be working to become better and to be a better person, and I think its also really important for others to become the best person they can be. Of course I only stress this best persona if it is who the person wants to become.

People should be aware of who they want to be, the kind of things they want to do with their life, how they want to act, and they should strive to become that version of themselves.

In my psychology class we were talking about how a person is best when their ideal self and actual self are congruent. It’s the humanistic perspective on personality.

Carl Rogers says that a person’s self-concept is vital to their personality. A better self-concept, the better off the person is. Self-concept is controlled by how similar a person’s ideal and actual self are. The more similarities, the better self-concept, the better off a person is. Without the congruence of ideal and actual self we feel unhappy and dissatisfied with our lives.

This really struck home for me.

For a balanced personality and inner life, a person’s ideal self and actual self should be almost the same. This only serves to further my point that working towards becoming your ideal self is vital.

In the class we did a little test by writing down 5 words to describe your actual self and then writing down 5 words to describe your ideal self. I’m not going to share my results, because I believe that its a private thing, but would like to suggest you do the little test too, just to see where you are and where you want to be.

Don’t limit the words you write down, just let it all flow and in the end compare the two and circle the words that you want to work on. Focus on those words every day to try and become that ideal self that you’ve imagined.

Throughout none of what I have said above am I trying to say that the person you are right now as you’re reading this is bad in any way. No matter what you do, your personality and person is a beautiful thing and I would never want you to change yourself into a person you’re not. Which leads me to another point.

Sometimes, fixing the actual self to match the ideal self isn’t the problem. A lot of times, the best way to find concurrency is to lower your expectations for your ideal self and make it more manageable.

I’m sorry to say this, but you will always have flaws in your personality. Everyone always has flaws, no one is perfect. But those flaws are what make you so beautiful, because imperfection is what makes the world and people seem so wonderful.

Like a great Calvin and Hobbes quote “If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?”

If you personality is flawless and perfect then, it wouldn’t matter. It is the flaws that make people precious and special to everyone around them. Never forget this.

As you strive to become your ideal self, never forget that you are perfect just the way you are, no matter what. I know that this seems like a dichotomy of things, but it makes sense.

Never let anyone tell you that you have to change to be different and their version of better. Only you can set what that version of better, you ideal self, is.

And as always, don’t set the bar too high, because you’re perfect just the way you are!


At High Tide


I spent this past weekend at a beach house in Delaware with one of my close friends. Last night around 9 was a super high tide point and we walked out onto the bay near the beach house.

The high tide made the water come up almost onto the dunes and it was higher than I had ever seen and I have gone to this bay my entire life. It was amazing!!

We walked down the beach on a spit of land the was in between two sections of water with a connecting point halfway down the beach. We decided to see if we could walk through the connecting point, which was a really wide stream of water that connected the two parts of water, and reach the dry sand on the other half of the beach.

Personally I am terrified walking through murky  water because I can’t see what I’m stepping on, but we kept to walking through the soft sand without shells sticking out of it.

It was really fun just walking through the water, we weren’t there to swim, we were there to have fun and see how far we could make it across.

Sadly we did not make it across due to it steadily getting deeper and deeper and me being more and more terrified. But we did have a ton of fun, talking and simply walking down the beach.

Take a nice walk with someone you can talk to and you’ll understand!




So I’ve starting running because I need to get exercise somehow so that I can actually sleep at night. Also I am not fit at all, so that’s the second goal of this adventure. I used to use the C25K app, but this time I was feeling lazy so I just ran around my neighborhood listening to music.

I decided instead to just try and run the loop around my neighborhood in one go without stopping to walk. Once I was able to do the entire loop without needing to walk, I would make the loop bigger by adding another leg to it and slowly build my endurance, distance, and speed.

Starting out last week the running times have only been around 10 minutes, but I’m getting exercise and feeling really good about myself.

I make sure to get exercise right after I wake up, early in the morning so that its cooler outside and I’m not awake enough come up with an excuse to not run.

So far this plan of mine has worked really well and I feel awesome!



Craft Room


I recently went on a trip to England and Scotland. I went for two weeks and stayed in a flat in London, a house on the Isle of Skye, and another flat in Edinburgh. While I was there I decided that I had to take lots of pictures for my best friend and further on decided that it would be fun to scrapbook the trip because I’d never done something like that and it seemed fun and quirky.

I went out and collected some fun materials for the scrapbook and ordered 160 of my pictures online after I got home and then waited for them to arrive, which they did, yesterday.

So far the scrapbooking has been super fun and really pretty. I’m using a lot of random stuff I found littered about the house from when I was younger as embellishments and its really fun and creative.

This entire summer so far I’ve been working on repurposing a section of my room as a craft room and its been going really well. I love organizing and cleaning so I had a lot of fun cleaning and listening to music.

Have fun with your summer!


Lesbian Flag


So I was looking around on the internet today trying to find a lesbian shirt that I could wear to school in the fall, but every shirt I found had, instead of the lesbian flag, a normal rainbow scheme. I love rainbows and the rainbow flag, but I really want a shirt that has the lesbian flag colors on it instead.

I tried searching that and it didn’t come up. Which I don’t understand because the lesbian flag is really pretty, just look:

Lesbian Flag

So I figure I’m just going to have to find some way to make a shirt of my own with the lesbian flag, because no one else cares about how awesome and beautiful it is.

While I was searching I did find a t-shirt with “Lavender Menace” written on it and was amazed! Lavender Menace comes from a comment Betty Friedan, then President of the National Organization for Women, made about disliking lesbians. I wrote all about in a research paper for APUSH.

So instead of going cray over the lesbian flag shirt today, I just ordered a lavender menace one and can’t wait for it to come. I’m not sure if my mom will approve, but I don’t care if she doesn’t want me to come out anymore, because I am wearing that shirt.

Be proud!


Tips for Starting a Bullet Journal


Last summer I tried to start a Bullet Journal, using all the best tips from Pinterest and starting out with super complex daily page layouts. Because I was going to be cool. I was going to have a bullet journal and it was going to be awesome from the start.

Needless to say that didn’t work out too well.

How to successfully start a stress-free bullet journal

Instead, in the fall I got myself a normal daily planner and did it all that way. I used it to write down that things I needed to do each and every day of the week and it worked. It worked really well.

I didn’t have the stress of being perfect at first and I just had to write inside the lines.

Well, after I ran out of pages int he journal, I started up that bullet journal again. But this time, I was determined to keep it up.

This time, I didn’t place any stress on making the page layouts, fancy or unnecessarily crazy. I just wrote down what I needed to do that day. Made lists of cool things, of books I read, whatnot.

So that’s where I figured out how to successfully start, and continue, a low-stress bullet journal.

Step 1: Obtain Journal. I just grabbed on out of my collection of empty journals. It can have lines, or it can not have lines, it doesn’t matter.

Step 2: Make a list of what you have to do today, write the date on top, and don’t try too hard with it.

Step 3: Make a list of whatever you like, whatever pops into your head, whatever you want to remember.

You don’t need a fancy system with an index and all that, just start one and the rest will come slowly on its own.

Sure, my bullet journal isn’t the prettiest, or the fanciest. But that isn’t the point of bullet journals. Bullet journal are supposed to be a place where you can write down anything you want, take up as much space as you want, and organize your mind. So do your bullet journal how you want to do it.


8 Little Known Words to Describe Me



  • In essence, a lover of words, me, the reason I felt a need to make this list. The joy I feel when I see a new word and discover an unknown meaning.

Some cool words that describe me


  • A lover of rain. Loving the feeling of all your troubles being washed away and being soothed by the soft pattering of rain drops.


  • Beautiful thinking. The mind is a beautiful place and is the greatest treasure a person could have.


  • The desire for dramatic change in your life. I feel this every day. Not the need to travel, but the need for an adventure, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Almost every month I feel the need to switch everything around in my life and live differently, I’m always searching to become better and change what I am doing now.


  • To wander longingly through a forest in search of mystery. As I said above, I am always looking for an adventure and I adore forests. I’m not sure if this word is a real word, but then, what would be the point of it if it was real?


  • To travel in a purposeful manner to a vague destination. I know that I’m going somewhere with my life, and I know that it will be great and I will love it, but I do not know what will happen or what I will become or who I even want to become.


  • A person who lives in the clouds of their own imagination never obeying the conventions of society, literature, or art. A daydreamer, who is not afraid to break all the limits and rules.


  • A homesickness for a home that never was, or you can never return. I am homesick for all the places that I read about in books or hear about in stories that I can never go to, for all the times that once were, or never were, or never could be.


So what are some cool words that you’ve found? Or maybe just a normal word that people underestimate, like time, for example.

To all the logophiles out there: Never be ashamed to love the beauty of words!


A Day in the Life of Nyra


I wake up at 5:45 and have a nice cup of hot chocolate while trying to wake up. I get dressed and then sit around, read, look on pinterest, or unload the dishwasher before I leave for school at 7.


Having a routine is really nice, it gives you something to relax into and mindlessly go through what you need to do. Its a really nice security blanket. I going to detail my routine here so that I can look back on it and learn to break it every once in a while. Routines are really nice, but also numb your mind and I want to stay sharp.

A Day in the Life of Nyra

Once I get to school I sit down with my group of friends and talk for a bit before I go off to AP US History. I’ve been in that class the entire year so its super relaxed. I listen to weird random, but funny rants from my teacher and make sarcastic comments and generally mess around with my best friend (we can call her Whale because that’s her nickname) while actually getting work done.

Afterwards Whale and I go off to Spanish class. I continue making sarcastic comments and we beat the entire class in Spanish vocab crossword puzzles. Every Friday we watch El Internado, an actual TV show from Spain that’s really awesome. Whale and I both go upstairs to our next class so we walk with one another and eat pringles, which I always bring and always comment on how we’re the “pringle ladies”.

I go to Biology, which I do not have with Whale, and spend time with one of my other friends. As per usual, I make sarcastic comments. My teacher for bio is sarcastic and funny so a lot of that class is spent laughing.

I finally have lunch around 12:50 and spend it in the band room hanging out with my friend who plays clarinet (I play oboe), eating lunch, and complaining about how we want our lives to be more interesting, but also less complex.

I go to English class, be really sassy to a sort-of friend (all we really do is have sassy and sarcastic arguments about who’s better). I work on essays and writing or try not to doze off as my teacher reads aloud (why he reads aloud to high-schoolers? I will never know.) Most of the time I end up really hyper by the end of English class, probably because I love reading and writing.

All that ends at 2:05 and I go to the band hallway for band, orchestra, wind ensemble, choir, or select choir. I have one every day for every day of the week. I joke around with all my band friends and afterwards my sister drives us home.

I start doing homework almost right away and work all afternoon. Sometimes in the evening after dinner, which is around 6, I have time to spare so I read, write, or watch TV. Its really nice when my whole family decides to go and take a walk around the neighborhood at night, but that barely happens anymore because I spend basically all my time doing homework.


Minimizing Goals


My mom told me about this class she took about 8 years ago. It was a class about goals and how to successfully make and follow goals. Of course she told me this when I was having a psychological crisis about not following my goals, and the idea really helped me. She told me about this super successful way to make goals. There are a couple steps.

  1. What/who/where do you want to be in a year? How do you want to change? What do you want to be different?
    1. This can also be any long term-ish unit of time. Like 5 years, or by the time I finish high school, etc.
  2. Now what could you do in 6 months that could have you getting close to this goal? What could you do that would get you halfway there?
  3. Then what can you do in 3 months time to be working your way to the 6 months goal?
  4. Now, finally, what can you do in 1 month that would have you working towards your 3 month goals?

What’s really cool about this system is the secret 5th step

(5).  Once you finish the first month, regardless of if you reached your goals, look forward again to how you want to change, just like you did in step 1 and repeat. Sure, everything might be almost the same, but each month you’ll be looking even farther ahead and working up even closer to that goal!

A part of this goal making system is to make the big goals manageable and small. It makes them do-able and you actually get them done. It might take a few tries for you to get the specifics right about your goals for 1 month, as in what you can actually do in that amount of time, but it’s okay.

No matter what it’s okay if you reach your goals, or if you don’t. The idea of this is to start moving towards them. You tried reaching those goals, and they just weren’t realistic, so you’ll try again.

I’ve always had trouble making and sticking to goals, but I’m really hoping this system works for me. I haven’t even finished my first month yet, but I already love it!

Of course everyone is different and you have to find a system that works for you. Some things just don’t motivate people, but others do. Try it out!