I came up with an idea the other day that each morning I would ask myself this simple question, “Who do I want to be?” and whatever my answer was I was going to try my hardest to be that person that day. I was going to try to be the person who I wanted to be every single day of my life.
Sure the answer to the question might change and adapt over time, but it is the action of trying to be your best that works.
Some days I want to be outgoing and social, other days I want to be creative and nerdy, but I’m still working towards the best me there is.
This morning I actually wrote “Who?” on my hand to remember throughout the day to focus on being the person that I want to be. So every time I look at my hand it reminds me to keep working towards my goals and ideal self.
Its really important to me to always be working to become better and to be a better person, and I think its also really important for others to become the best person they can be. Of course I only stress this best persona if it is who the person wants to become.
People should be aware of who they want to be, the kind of things they want to do with their life, how they want to act, and they should strive to become that version of themselves.
In my psychology class we were talking about how a person is best when their ideal self and actual self are congruent. It’s the humanistic perspective on personality.
Carl Rogers says that a person’s self-concept is vital to their personality. A better self-concept, the better off the person is. Self-concept is controlled by how similar a person’s ideal and actual self are. The more similarities, the better self-concept, the better off a person is. Without the congruence of ideal and actual self we feel unhappy and dissatisfied with our lives.
This really struck home for me.
For a balanced personality and inner life, a person’s ideal self and actual self should be almost the same. This only serves to further my point that working towards becoming your ideal self is vital.
In the class we did a little test by writing down 5 words to describe your actual self and then writing down 5 words to describe your ideal self. I’m not going to share my results, because I believe that its a private thing, but would like to suggest you do the little test too, just to see where you are and where you want to be.
Don’t limit the words you write down, just let it all flow and in the end compare the two and circle the words that you want to work on. Focus on those words every day to try and become that ideal self that you’ve imagined.
Throughout none of what I have said above am I trying to say that the person you are right now as you’re reading this is bad in any way. No matter what you do, your personality and person is a beautiful thing and I would never want you to change yourself into a person you’re not. Which leads me to another point.
Sometimes, fixing the actual self to match the ideal self isn’t the problem. A lot of times, the best way to find concurrency is to lower your expectations for your ideal self and make it more manageable.
I’m sorry to say this, but you will always have flaws in your personality. Everyone always has flaws, no one is perfect. But those flaws are what make you so beautiful, because imperfection is what makes the world and people seem so wonderful.
Like a great Calvin and Hobbes quote “If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?”
If you personality is flawless and perfect then, it wouldn’t matter. It is the flaws that make people precious and special to everyone around them. Never forget this.
As you strive to become your ideal self, never forget that you are perfect just the way you are, no matter what. I know that this seems like a dichotomy of things, but it makes sense.
Never let anyone tell you that you have to change to be different and their version of better. Only you can set what that version of better, you ideal self, is.
And as always, don’t set the bar too high, because you’re perfect just the way you are!